yay!!!

I decided to try the counseling offered by the school, because my friend had said she was having a good experience, so I figured I should try it out, and see how it is. When I went in to make an appointment, I asked if they could give me a Christian counselor, but the lad y said she couldn't give out that kind of information. Well, today I went in, and as it turns out, the lady who is my counselor went to Biola for graduate school. So my reasoning is" who would voluntarily go to a Christian school, if they weren't a Christian right? :) So either the lady took into consideration what I said about wanting a Christian counselor, or God just worked it out that way. Either way is pretty cool.

stupid, stupid, stupid

I really think the chiropractors in the student health center are dumb, or something. I don't know. They want me to go every week, and although it's only $5, i can't really afford to be paying that every week. :( also, I now have a stress fracture in my foot. How did it happen? I have no idea. The only thing that I did that was different last week was that I went to the chiropractor and they adjusted my feet for the first time ever. coincidence? maybe, I kinda hope so, but I'm not gonna go back till like April, cause I basically only need to go once a month, and I can go see Dr. Cheely in March.

ugh

I'm not really sick, but for the last few days I've been waking up with a headache, and feeling really tired. It's not like I'm doing any more than normal, or feeling anymore stressed than normal, so I don't know why i feel like this. Sheesh, maybe I just need a break. Thankfully, spring break is coming up in the next couple of weeks, and I get the whole week off, no work no school no nothing! (I hope) yay!!! :)

I like to Bowl!!!

As a child, group the home school group I was with had a bowling day every Monday. I went because my mom wanted me to go, and I got a chance to socialize with my friends, but hated the part about bowling. When I got into Jr. High, I just stopped going altogether. I wasn't any good at it, and the only real friend I had there had stopped going too, so what was the point? I haven't voluntarily gone bowling since. Until Thursday night. There's a bowling alley near by that had Deaf Night on Thursday, and some of my friends were going, and it was a chance to practice my ASL, so after my last class got out at 9:30, I drove over there. I wasn't sure if I would actually bowl, but I did and it was a lot of fun!!! Not just the socializing aspect, but the actual bowling. I'm better than I was when I was 10, (although not by much :) ) and even though I didn't do very well, I was really able to just shrug it off and have a good time, instead stressing about the fact that I was doing pretty bad (40 pts in the first game, and 65 in the second). All in all, it was a fun night. :)


P.s. speaking of deaf events, if anyone is interested, March 8th is deaf day at Disneyland. :)

Thank God

Wow, ok, so the last post about Lizzie eloping is no longer valid, because she broke up with him. :) God works in amazing ways right? Apparently, he really did just want to marry her for his citizenship, and that really made her mad, so she broke it off. thank God :)

Eloping

Not me, you would all know if I had a boyfriend or not. :) My roommate Lizzie is planning on getting married on Friday. She's only 18, and her fiance isn't legal. They were originally supposed to wait for two years, and get married June 2009, but she needs money, and will get a bigger Cal Grant(11,000 in stead of 4,000) if she's married. He needs citizenship. So they moved the date up to this Friday. However, he's not going to be moving up here for like another two years, so basically they'll be married on paper and that's it. I've tried talking her out of it, but she's pretty set on doing it. The other problem? they only met last summer, and didn't start dating until the end of October(I think). So, pray that the situation works out? :) I also brought this up as prayer request at Bible Study tonight, and some of the adults asked for her number so that they could talk to her about it. I told you they're wonderful. :) So, yeah. Bad situation, with hopefully a better outcome than what it now looks like.

Decisions part II

IV is amazing! I feel really loved there. Especially tonight. I had Bible study, and as part of the prayer requests I mentioned that I'm pretty sure that I'll be at Biola (maybe Masters, but Biola is my first choice) next year. When I told them they all started talking to me about how they felt the same things I'm feeling (i.e. loneliness, homesickness, no real deep connections with people) when they first started, and that if I give it time, I'll probably feel better. They also all gave me their cell phone numbers(the ones I didn't already have) and told me to call them whenever I feel bored or lonely. So basically, I'm back to square one, because I pretty much had it decided that I was gonna be somewhere else next year, but now, I'm realizing that they really do care about me and want to get to know me on a deeper level, and that all I have to do is make a phone call. So I pretty much have no reason to fell alone anymore, because between the 5 or so people there, I think there really shouldn't be too much of a problem finding someone to hang out with. Man, I realized too that part of me wanted this kind of reaction when I told people what I was thinking about. I didn't get it with Jackie and Lizzie, because they want me to be happy, but can't really offer me more than what they already are, I guess. So, I thought I would kind of get the same reaction out of the IV people, but I didn't at all!!! And they really made me feel wanted and accepted, which is something I'm not really getting from my roommates. I mean, the people at the Bible Study want me to be happy too, but they also presented me with the option of staying where I am and really building connections with the people here. So, like I said, back to square one...do I go, or do I stay?(and by the way, I will still apply to the Torrey program, but I'm not so sure about leaving anymore.) Staying here would certainly be the cheapest option, and if I can be happy here, then why not? Also, one of my friends is a Deaf Studies major, and she did say that the feeling I'm getting about the program is how she feels too, but that not every deaf person is how the culture is being painted, so that maybe it wouldn't be so bad, besides, if I have my secondary teaching degree, and decide that I don't like where I am when I graduate, I can always switch to a regular school, I think, and this way I'd have more options available to me. Shoot, decisions, decisions.

shoulda done this sooner...

Last weekend I went to The Block for a deaf social event. It was AMAZING!!! I was scared at first, but met a couple of people that were also ASL level 2 students, so we kinda stuck together. Man, all of those people signing was intimidating!!! Then the people I was with left, so I was on my own. So I just walked up to someone, and said hi. We started talking, and he was a student too!!! Actually, as it turns out, most of the people there were students!!! Man they were good! Course, they were all like level 3-4, but still!!! Anyway, when I found out they were students too, it kinda eased the tension a little bit, but at one point I was standing by myself being shy, cuz the person I had been talking to walked away for a second, and someone else sort of scolded me for being shy!!! He was like "you're just standing there by yourself, come here and talk with us" I said I was shy, and the other people there were like "don't be shy! He's the nicest guy we know!" all in all it was a very good experience, and as long as I have some place the spend the night(like last weekend I stayed with my friend Lauren) I think I might go back.

Here it is

Ok, I know it's long, but please read the whole thing and let me know what you think.

“Can't you see you're just like peas and mashed potatoes? Some people don't like them to touch each other if they're on the same plate! But it's okay. It's okay if they touch! Because they both get chewed up by the mouth, and sent down the esophagus and dissolved into the stomach and absorbed into the intestines and oh I won't go any further than that. But the point is, we're all just nutrients in the great big digestive system called LIFE!”(Billy, “Grim and Evil” 2001)

According to Billy in the above quotation, peas and mashed potatoes have similar characteristics, or at least a common goal: to provide the body with nutrients. He uses that analogy to try to convince his friends that they are the same, that they do not have to hate each other because of their differences, because they are not all that different, in fact, they are very much the same. In a similar way, the main characters in Les Miserables- Bishop Bienvenue,Fantine, Cosette, Mr. and Mrs Thenardier, Jean Valjean, Javert, and Marius- also share certain common characteristics: the characteristics of Christ.

In the very beginning of the book, the Bishop is referred to as an “upright man”. For example, he gives everything he has to the poor. He dresses poorly, eats poorly, and walks or rides a donkey everywhere, instead of taking a carriage, so that he will have more money to spend on the poor. This shows that, at the very least, he has empathy for the poor, but also much more than that. It shows that he has true compassion, the same sort of compassion that Christ had. For example, when the lady who had been bleeding for twelve years touched Christ's cloak and was healed, He stopped to find out who it was, even though he was also needed elsewhere. He did not scold her, or become angry, instead He gently told that her faith had made her well. This shows that each person is an individual to Him, that no one is going to get lost in the crowd. This shows the amount of real compassion that He has for everyone. He is always available for anyone who needs Him, and even, on occasion, scolded His disciples for trying to keep people from coming to Him. He is the embodiment of Love and Compassion, and the Bishop follows His example perfectly

The Bishop is also a man who is willing to do anything he feels is right. For example, when a man was in prison and approaching his execution, no priest could be found to spend his last hours with him. The Bishop, hearing of it, stepped in, saying that it was his duty anyway, no one else's. He spent the last few days the man had with him in the cell, reading the Bible, and praying with him so that the man would die in peace. He then went with him to the guillotine and even stood by him on the platform as the knife fell. This shows that he is willing to do everything that he considers it his duty to do. This shows that the Bishop, like Christ, sees nothing as too low or too dirty for him to do. Christ also exhibited this characteristic. He spent time with sinners, like the tax collectors, because He knew that they needed love, and compassion. He knew that they needed someone to show them that God's love is different than man's love and that they could experience God's love if they wanted to. In Matthew 9:12, He explains to the Pharisees “It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick”. This shows that He is willing to be with the “sinners” and tax collectors because they are sick, not physically, but spiritually. They are spiritually dead, and they need a doctor. The Bishop and Christ both have the same plan: to show God's love in any way possible. They do this by spending time with those that others have rejected, in order to show everyone God's love.

Fantine is another character who displays certain attributes of Christ. When life becomes difficult for her and her infant daughter, Cosette, she gives her away to the Thenardier's, a family with two daughters of their own, because she believes Cosette will be happier there than with her. This shows that Fantine is willing to put aside her own desires for the betterment of her child. This shows that she is unselfish like Christ, who was willing to preach until the point of exhaustion just so that His message would reach as many people as possible. For example, when He was preaching to the Five Thousand, He preached all day long, and then performed the miracle of making the five loaves and two fish to feed everyone. This shows that He put everyone else's needs before His own, and that He would endure until those needs were met one hundred percent. This shows that His unselfishness exceeds all human expectations, and gives others the best possible example to follow.

Fantine also does everything possible to keep her daughter at the Thenardier's. They require her to pay them money every month, and when she loses her job she resorts to selling her hair, and even her teeth in order to come up with the money she needs to provide for her daughter. She dies attempting to raise enough money to pay the Thenardier's. This shows that she is willing to do anything for her daughter, which shows that she is willing to sacrifice herself for her daughter. It was love like this that enabled Christ to die on the cross. He knew we needed to have a debt paid that we could not pay, just like Cosette had a debt to be paid that she could not pay. He sacrificed Himself for those He loved in order to pay the debt, which shows His willingness to do anything for us in order to provide for our needs, and His great love for us. This shows His great power, and His desire for us to spend eternity in Heaven with Him. Fantine does much the same thing when she dies trying to provide for her daughter. She loves her enough to die for her, and is willing to do so, if it means that her daughter will have a better life because of it. Both have a reason to give of themselves, and both give in the best ways they know how, Christ by His miracles and His death, and Fantine by selling what she can, and working herself to death .They both know what needs to be done, and do it.

Cosette, Fantine's daughter, also demonstrates a characteristic of Christ: respect. For example, when, as an adult, she is asked by Jean Valjean to leave her location and all of her friends and move once again, she does as he asks, without asking questions, and without fighting him, even though it means leaving the man who loves her behind. This shows that she has a sweet disposition, and that she is a very trusting person. It also shows that she has deep respect for the man who raised her, because he raised her, and because he is her elder. Christ also exhibited this trait. When he was twelve years old, his parents took him to Jerusalem for the passover week. As they were leaving, they realized they couldn't find Him, so they turned around. They found him in the temple with the priests and the scribes. He was asking questions beyond His years, but he wasn't asking them disrespectfully. On the contrary, they were amazed my his knowledge, and His respect, in light of the amount of knowledge He possessed. This shows that He knew how to act around those who were to be respected, which also shows the amount of wisdom he retained.

The Thenardier's also exhibited a Christlike characteristic. When they first met Fantine and Cosette, they agreed to take Cosette because Fantine looked desperate. They insisted on being paid, but only because they were going to be raising another child. This shows that there is a willingness to be kind in their personalities. This shows that they do have, or did at one time have, real feelings and compassion for others outside of their own greediness. Christ was also kind to those in need. He fed the hungry, healed the sick, and raised the dead, all without asking for anything for Himself, not even the recognition that He was the one who did it. For example, when a blind man needed his sight, Jesus healed him, and then requested that he not tell anyone that He healed him. This shows Jesus' humbleness. This shows the great character traits that Jesus possessed. He was willing to help any and everyone, and all for nothing. The Thenardier's helped out Fantine, although, being human, they needed money, and quickly became greedy for more. The act of kindness was there in the beginning, and if it were not for them Cosette would probably have died along with Fantine when her situation went downhill.

Jean Valjean keeps his word to Fantine about raising Cosette as his own, even though he knows that having a child with him will slow him down as he is fleeing from the police. This shows that he is a man of his word, and that he will disregard danger to himself in order to keep what he has promised. This shows that he has deep convictions about doing what is promised. Earlier, he also kept his promise to the Bishop of making sure he followed the right path from then on, when the Bishop covered for his theft of his silver by saying that they were a gift, and that he should take the candlesticks too. This shows that he remembers what he has promised, as well as completing the task. He does his best to become an upright man, as the Bishop wanted him to, and he does his best to raise Cosette, and be a good father to her, as he promised Fantine. Christ was also a man of His word. When He said He would be raised from the dead He was, and because He said that He would return, He will. This shows that He is trustworthy, and that He is always right. This shows that He is God, ultimately. He is the only one who will never let us down. Jean Valjean showed this also by keeping his promise to Fantine.

Jena Valjean also manifests the ability to endanger himself, and his own well being, in order to do what is right. For example, when a man is stuck under a cart, he has the option to wait for a crane to save him, but that would take too long. Knowing that displaying the great amount of strength he has will make police inspector Javert suspicious, he lifts the cart off of the man anyway. This shows that he is unselfish, like Fantine, and that he is willing to do the right thing, even though it might mean that he will have to go back to prison. Christ always did the right thing, regardless of whether or not he might be putting himself in danger because of His actions. For example, when he was preaching in the synagogue in Nazareth, the people He spoke to became angry with Him, but He kept preaching. Even when they threatened to kill Him, He didn't stop speaking the truth. This shows that He was brave, and willing to risk His life so that others would see His example and be saved. This shows that He was a righteous man, and the Son of God. He and Jean Valjean both had decisions to make, and both made the right ones, Valjean in saving the man's life, and later in stepping forward when an innocent man was going to be sentenced for his crimes, and Jesus ultimately in giving His life.

Javert showed one of the greatest attributes of Christ that he could. He showed mercy to Jean Valjean. As a police inspector, he is hunting Valjean for stealing a little boy's money. Valjean is now considered a repeat offender, and as such will get life in prison. Searching for him throughout the entire story, Javert finally lets him go at the end because Valjean saved his life. This shows that Javert has realized that sometimes men deserve a break. This shows that Javert understands the concept of mercy, and has decided to apply it in this case. He is acting like Christ in this instance, because he is willing to forgive Valjean of his offense. Jesus was the greatest example of mercy that ever lived. He could have let the human race continue to live in sin and decide that He did not care because they did it to themselves, but He didn't. He came and suffered on the cross for a crime He didn't commit, all because He loves us. This shows that He is the epitome of mercy. This shows that mercy is the greatest gift someone can give to someone else. Javert followed Christ's example,by giving it to Jean Valjean, so that he could live out the rest of his days in peace.

Marius, Cosette's husband, has the opportunity to, and does, exhibit a Christlike characteristic. He shows grace to a fellow student. Before he meets Cosette, he is a student at a university, and during one of the roll calls in a class he has, he claims he is himself, and another student who is absent. The ruse fails, and he gets expelled, but he keeps the other student from being expelled. In doing so, he displayed an act of grace. This shows that Marius, also, has good character traits. This shows that he has a characteristic of Christ. Christ gave the world grace by paying the debt it owed, the payment being death. This shows, once more, the love Christ has for us. This shows that Christ has no boundaries on His love. Marius, in keeping the other student from being expelled, showed a small part of Christ's love for the world.

Just like the main characters in Les Miserables are able to exhibit Christ like characteristics in their lives, so all humans in their everyday situations can also exhibit such traits. It is because of their willingness to show such characteristics that others in their lives are touched, and their lives made better. It is this type of example that all humans should follow in their every day lives.

Writing Papers

I just realized how much I truly suck at papers. Especially those of the analytical variety. I tried all last year to write a good paper, and only succeeded once, and not during the a.p. exam. The thing is, mainstream classes are geared for those who need lots of help, a.p. classes are geared towards passing the exam, so that only the things the graders are looking for are taught, not really good writing. This is particularly frustrating right now, because I'm writing a paper as part of an application process, and don't have anyone to read it for me, and tell me what I'm doing wrong, cuz I know it's not good, but I really want it to be good. Grrr!!!

Decisions

I'm gonna speak in generalities here, because I don't want to give too much away, as I don't know what my decision will be, and I don't want the choices to sway the advice my readers give. :) Ok, so as you probably guessed, I have a decision to make. It just came up out of the blue today, but it's really bugging me. I've thought a lot about it, and prayed about it, but can't come up with an answer. So, I wrote out the problem, the reasons for the problem, the possible solutions, and the reasons why the solutions are solutions. I also wrote out a question, a very big question, and I don't know the answer to that either. The question has to do with how I've handled situations in the past, and the the fact that I don't like how I handled them. If the answer is yes, then I know what choice to make, but if the answer is no, then I'm back where I started. Also, I listed out all the pro's and con's of each option. Now, the pro's of option A way outweigh the con's, and the pro's and con's of option B are about equal. However, my favorite pro of option A is not guaranteed by any means, in fact, it's very unlikely, but since it could happen, and would by the grace of God, I had to list it. It's also one of the main deciding factors. I know you guys can't help much, not really knowing what I'm talking about, but if you could give me some advice, I'd appreciate it. :)