I've never been much of a patient person. If I see something I want, I immediately start making plans for how to make it happen, whether it was making a visit to Virginia after high school graduation, or transferring to a private school I had absolutely no way of paying for. And God has been faithful. He has allowed me to make the mistakes that my head strong nature often often leads me to, without too many repercussions. But now it seems, He is telling me to wait. You see, That private school never did fall within my price range, and so far God hasn't seen fit to miraculously bail me out of the mountain of debt I have buried myself under. But that doesn't mean He hasn't provided for me. He has given me a good job, and an affordable place to live, both of which have allowed me to remain independent.
But waiting is hard. I've had to learn to slow down, to say no to things I would normally say yes to. And I've had to learn to hold on to my dream, even though I can't have it just yet. I've had to learn that if it really is worth having, it is worth waiting for. But that's not all God is teaching me.
I know that this time of waiting is by just waiting for the sake of waiting. God is using this time to shape me, to make me into the person I need to be in order to serve Him the way I need to serve Him. I just finished reading the book "Kisses from Katie" which, if you haven't heard of it is a story about a 19 year old girl, just out of high school, who gives her heart to Uganda. In her first year there, she adopts 9 little girls, and 5 more in the years to follow. She gives up everything she has so that se can do her best to make a difference, but does it with the knowledge that just changing one life is enough. She knows that God is the one doing the work, and she is simply the person He chose to do it through. In her words "In the days of Jesus, He expected EVERYTHING of His disciples. Do I believe He requires the same today? I do. And I want to live like I believe it." Reading those words, I know I'm not ready to give my everything. But I also know that that is, at least in part, what this period of waiting is for.
She says later that "The hard places can seem unbearable. It's dark and it's scary and even though I know God will never leave me or forsake me, sometimes it's so dark that I just can't see Him. But then the most incredible thing happens: God takes me by the hand and walks me straight out of the hard place and into the beauty on the other side...ALWAYS on the other side is something beautiful because He has used the hard place...to align my desires with His. I realize that it was there that He was closest to me, even in the times when I didn't see Him."
It's hard to read that and not stop and think. And it makes me wish that I had faith like that. So I wait, and I pray, because I know God is preparing me for something great. I just need to do it in His time, and not my own.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Realization
Timeline. I hadn't thought about it before. My timeline is to move overseas sometime within the next five years. I was looking at adoptable dogs online the other night and it hit me, a dog could be up to a 15 year commitment. Patches was 13 years. I'm not planning on staying here that long. As much as I want a dog, I can't have one, because I can't commit that much time and I certainly can't take him with me. If I get a dog here, that would mean committing to stay here for longer than I think I need to. And I can't do that. As much as I desperately want a dog, the dog will have to wait :/
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Hearts Cry Out
Proud, poor, free. The land of Jamaica is one of beauty and individuality. The first thing you notice as your plane skims over the water is how gorgeous this island nation is. But amid all the beauty is a people whose hearts cry out for more. Jamaica is the first country I've been to where you can't use the word "Christian" and get your meaning across. There, everyone is a "Christian." In Jamaica, there is no such thing as an atheist. To say that God does not exist is blasphemy to them. Of Course He exists. How else did the world come to be? The schools there still do basic devotions at the beginning of the day. Yet even with all this religion, very few really understand what it means to be a follower of Christ.
The overwhelming majority of people will respond with a yes if you ask them if they are a Christian. But you will get quite a different response if you ask them if they follow Christ. To them, to follow Christ is to do everything right. If you smoke, drink, have pre-marital sex, or even have tattoos, in their minds, you are going to hell. You must have your life cleaned up before you can be a Christ follower, because otherwise God will not accept you. They do not understand the meaning of grace. In their minds, your salvation is determined on the number of good things you do. This is not as common among believers, but the culture there says that you must act like a Christ follower in order to go to Heaven.
The reason for this is that there is so much wrong that happens in their everyday lives. 75% of children in Jamaica grow up with no father. The culture says that in order for a man to be a man, he needs to have many children, and several women. But with this cultural expectation of physical manhood, there is no maturity expected along with that. If a man fathers a child, it is no big deal for the man. He is allowed to leave and do whatever he wants. The women are left to raise the children on their own.
This broken family dynamic also plays a large role in the Deaf culture in Jamaica. I learned in my American deaf culture classes about Deaf pride, and Deaf power. Here in America, the Deaf are proud of who they are. No one should ever try to change their circumstances, because they like being Deaf. In Jamaica, it is the complete opposite. Up until fifty years ago, the Deaf on Jamaica were treated much like animals. They were locked inside their houses, refused education, and largely ignored. It wasn't until the Caribbean Christian Center for the Deaf (CCCD) started in Jamaica in the 50's that things began to change. They opened Deaf schools, and provided access to JSL (Jamaican Sign Language). That's when circumstances began to change. But this shift in perspective is still so recent that many of the stigma's that originated with a hearing person's perspective of the Deaf still persist. Many Deaf are still thought to be stupid, or unteachable. Many hearing parents of Deaf children wind up dropping them off at the Deaf school, and having as little to do with them later on as possible. It is easier this way, to give the responsibility to someone else. Hearing people don't understand why it is hard for a Deaf person to learn to read. They don't understand why they learn differently than hearing kids. And so they are branded as less than. And the sad thing is, many of the deaf people there agree with them. They are more willing to let the hearing people run the show than they are to lead themselves. And they suffer as a result.
The deaf in Jamaica look at Christianity as a hearing person's religion. Why is that? Because it is so much more accessible to hearing people. We have Bibles in written format that we can read and understand. They are left with asking the hearing people to explain it them. With such a situation its no wonder that they feel like only the hearing people can really read and understand the Bible. But not only that, when a person looks at themselves as incapable, they are less likely to step up and take a position that requires capability. If you don't think you are able to lead, then you aren't going to do it.
There are 10,000 Deaf people on the Island of Jamaica. Only 10% of them are Christians. They have one pastor. His role is to travel to different churches on the Island and give the Sunday sermon, but that means that each church only rarely gets to have him. The rest of the time, they fellowship and learn as best they can. The Deaf community in Jamaica is crying out for leaders, but so few are willing to step forward and take that role.
One of the most important lessons that I learned while in Jamaica was how crucial it is for any Deaf missions project to be run by a Deaf person. The hearing Americans are more likely to have an education that fits the role, but if it is not run by a Deaf person, then the Deaf will never own it. It will be relegated to the area of "Hearing only." The reason that I needed to learn this lesson? Because it shifts my expectations of what my role will be, and it shows me that I will most likely have a different role than I originally expected. It also means that my possibilities are greater. Rather than being so focused on one small area of ministry, it is my job to be focused on the larger aspect of helping the Deaf to become leaders themselves, no matter where I am. Whether that be through education, through witnessing, or through some other avenue, my job is not to start something that I'm better at than a Deaf person (because really, that doesn't exist within Deaf missions. They will always be better at reaching other Deaf people than me!). My job is not to do work for the Deaf, but to work with the Deaf, to enable them to lead themselves, to use my education, and my talents, and my passions in service to them, regardless of what that looks like. And most of all, it is my job to humble myself, and say that they know better than I do, because they have lived it! No matter what area of missions I work in, discipleship needs to be the goal, because without it, the Deaf around the world won't lead themselves, and they absolutely need to.
The overwhelming majority of people will respond with a yes if you ask them if they are a Christian. But you will get quite a different response if you ask them if they follow Christ. To them, to follow Christ is to do everything right. If you smoke, drink, have pre-marital sex, or even have tattoos, in their minds, you are going to hell. You must have your life cleaned up before you can be a Christ follower, because otherwise God will not accept you. They do not understand the meaning of grace. In their minds, your salvation is determined on the number of good things you do. This is not as common among believers, but the culture there says that you must act like a Christ follower in order to go to Heaven.
The reason for this is that there is so much wrong that happens in their everyday lives. 75% of children in Jamaica grow up with no father. The culture says that in order for a man to be a man, he needs to have many children, and several women. But with this cultural expectation of physical manhood, there is no maturity expected along with that. If a man fathers a child, it is no big deal for the man. He is allowed to leave and do whatever he wants. The women are left to raise the children on their own.
This broken family dynamic also plays a large role in the Deaf culture in Jamaica. I learned in my American deaf culture classes about Deaf pride, and Deaf power. Here in America, the Deaf are proud of who they are. No one should ever try to change their circumstances, because they like being Deaf. In Jamaica, it is the complete opposite. Up until fifty years ago, the Deaf on Jamaica were treated much like animals. They were locked inside their houses, refused education, and largely ignored. It wasn't until the Caribbean Christian Center for the Deaf (CCCD) started in Jamaica in the 50's that things began to change. They opened Deaf schools, and provided access to JSL (Jamaican Sign Language). That's when circumstances began to change. But this shift in perspective is still so recent that many of the stigma's that originated with a hearing person's perspective of the Deaf still persist. Many Deaf are still thought to be stupid, or unteachable. Many hearing parents of Deaf children wind up dropping them off at the Deaf school, and having as little to do with them later on as possible. It is easier this way, to give the responsibility to someone else. Hearing people don't understand why it is hard for a Deaf person to learn to read. They don't understand why they learn differently than hearing kids. And so they are branded as less than. And the sad thing is, many of the deaf people there agree with them. They are more willing to let the hearing people run the show than they are to lead themselves. And they suffer as a result.
The deaf in Jamaica look at Christianity as a hearing person's religion. Why is that? Because it is so much more accessible to hearing people. We have Bibles in written format that we can read and understand. They are left with asking the hearing people to explain it them. With such a situation its no wonder that they feel like only the hearing people can really read and understand the Bible. But not only that, when a person looks at themselves as incapable, they are less likely to step up and take a position that requires capability. If you don't think you are able to lead, then you aren't going to do it.
There are 10,000 Deaf people on the Island of Jamaica. Only 10% of them are Christians. They have one pastor. His role is to travel to different churches on the Island and give the Sunday sermon, but that means that each church only rarely gets to have him. The rest of the time, they fellowship and learn as best they can. The Deaf community in Jamaica is crying out for leaders, but so few are willing to step forward and take that role.
One of the most important lessons that I learned while in Jamaica was how crucial it is for any Deaf missions project to be run by a Deaf person. The hearing Americans are more likely to have an education that fits the role, but if it is not run by a Deaf person, then the Deaf will never own it. It will be relegated to the area of "Hearing only." The reason that I needed to learn this lesson? Because it shifts my expectations of what my role will be, and it shows me that I will most likely have a different role than I originally expected. It also means that my possibilities are greater. Rather than being so focused on one small area of ministry, it is my job to be focused on the larger aspect of helping the Deaf to become leaders themselves, no matter where I am. Whether that be through education, through witnessing, or through some other avenue, my job is not to start something that I'm better at than a Deaf person (because really, that doesn't exist within Deaf missions. They will always be better at reaching other Deaf people than me!). My job is not to do work for the Deaf, but to work with the Deaf, to enable them to lead themselves, to use my education, and my talents, and my passions in service to them, regardless of what that looks like. And most of all, it is my job to humble myself, and say that they know better than I do, because they have lived it! No matter what area of missions I work in, discipleship needs to be the goal, because without it, the Deaf around the world won't lead themselves, and they absolutely need to.
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