Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Lent when you don't feel like it

I wasn't planning on observing Lent this year. In fact, I was determined not to. You see, God and I aren't really on the best terms right now. So much has happened. BUT. I still hold on to the belief that an act of worship is an act of worship regardless of how you feel about it. I still hold on to the belief that God is holy, and worthy of my devotion. I don't like him much right now, but I do still love him. For me, this means that whether I feel like it or not, I need to worship Him. So, even though I'm a week late in starting, I will observe Lent. What I love about traditional churches, and liturgy, is that its not about me. It forces me to take the focus off of myself and the way in which I interact with the experience, and it places it entirely on God. I don't have to worry about faking an emotional experience because no emotional reaction is required. All that is required of me is to show up. All that I have to do is participate. Going through the motions is ok, for now. I don't think God expects any more of me than that, and I don't think simply showing up is too much to ask. The whole point of Lent is to deny yourself something. To take the focus off of yourself and put it back on God. And that, to me, is the best way to live out your faith, whether I feel like it or not, because its not about me.