Christmas Magic

Songs, and parties, and traditions. Christmas is without a doubt my favorite time of year. I love the decorating. I love how festive everything is. I love that it is the one time of year that I can pretend I grew up in a more traditional time, a time when families really did get together and roast chestnuts on open fire. A time when kids went sledding on the snow, built igloos, and threw snowballs at each other. A time when family always feels like real, traditional family.

For the past two years I've been away from my family at Christmas. And while I've tried to maintain the few traditions my family has (things like drinking eggnog, listening to Mannheim Steamroller and Snoopy and the Red Baron, even making cheese fondue for my coworkers on Christmas Eve last year), it's not the same. Last year was better than this year. Last year i had roommates that enjoyed Christmas as much as I do, and who invited me into their home on Christmas day, who helped to make the holiday feel as familiar as they could. And of course, having a white Christmas wasn't so bad either.

This year is harder. Much harder. I'm stressed out with wedding planning, my fiancé is 1200 miles away, and my family is still in California. On top of that, I'm living alone. Don't get me wrong, I like it, for the most part. It gives me the opportunity to be alone when I need to be away from people, and I love my dog Loki. He's a ham, and a bit of a handful, but he's such a sweetheart, I can't help but thank God that I found him :). But that doesn't change the fact that most of the Christmas traditions I try to implement just aren't the same when I do them alone. It makes it hard for it feel like Christmas.

Knowing all of this, I can't stop trying. I love the magic of Christmas, and to give up would be to deny that I think this time of year is special. And there's that trip to California I have all planned out. I know once I get home the sounds of my mom playing music around the house, the smell of breakfast cooking when I get up, and the warmth of the fire burning in the fire place will do away with all of the frustrations, and the magic will come rushing back. But that doesn't mean that I don't wish I had all of that now. Just knowing that I can't have it makes it hard, but I also know that I won't be without it much longer, and that makes trying to maintain the magic that much more worth it. Because without magic, Christmas just isn't Christmas.