How long?

Every so often, I start to go in circles. I look at God's provision, and I think "That's great! Now when is He going to start moving me beyond just paying my bills? When my is my life going to move beyond ordinary and start to feel abundant?" I think of the stories I've heard of God miraculously providing for someone so that they can move forward in their lives, so they can get a little bit closer to their promise, instead of remaining in the "getting there" stage. I start to look, and think, and plan of ways to make my situation easier. I think "God doesn't want me to be in debt, so I should work as much as possible, so I can make a lot of money and get it all paid off."  Or I think "This job that I have been provided with, that I love, is only meeting my needs now. If anything changes, and my bills go up, it won't meet my needs anymore. I should look for something that pays better."

But then I stop. There is truth in these thoughts. It's true that God wants me to be a good steward with my money. It's true that if my situation changes much, I'll need something more. That's what makes them so easy to consider. But there is also the greater truth that is being overlooked when my mind begins to follow this path. That is the truth of God's provision. GOD is the one who gave me this job. God is the one who gave me a second job that's flexible. The exact flexibility of it means I don't have to kill myself in order to do well. He's given me over time lately too. He is working all things together for my good, but I get frustrated when that good is not exactly what I want it to be.

It is precisely at that point in time that I begin to ask "When? When do I get to move beyond this stage? When do I get to start really doing what I love? When do I get to experience the calling you have placed on my life?" And through it all, is a sense that I need to stop rushing ahead. I need to slow down, and wait on the Lord, because His timing is always perfect. Until then, I should keep doing what I'm doing. Working hard and learning how to handle money never hurt anyone, and maybe because I tend to need to learn things the hard way, God is letting me do just that. I don't know. What I do know, is that He's not done with me yet, and it is my job to wait on Him.