conviction

In my devotions today, the topic was Jonah. I've been struggling a lot the last few weeks since I decided to go home at the end of the summer, because honestly, I like it here. A lot. The main argument I've had for staying put is that when I felt like God was telling me to go to Biola, I did, and I regretted it. I never felt as comfortable there as I did at CSUN, and the whole time, I wanted to go back. So now, when I feel like God is leaving the choice up to me, it's really hard to see myself moving back.

Then comes this mornings devotions. Now, while I obviously did what God wanted me to do and transferred, I was only being obedient on the outside. On the inside, I was still rebelling and longing for what I once had, rather than being grateful for I had at the moment. Jonah did eventually obey God and go to Ninevah, but only after he was swallowed by a whale. And even once he did that, he was pissed off that the people repented, and were spared.

This tells me something. Mostly, that outward obedience is not enough. God wants our hearts, as well as our hands, and if we are to get the full fruit of His plan for our lives, we have to do everything with this in mind. The actions of obedience are not enough, if we are not obeying in our hearts as well. Lord forgive me for not obeying in my heart, and help me to see the good that you have planned for me when I go back home.