drained

Well, today was an eventful day. first, I called Biola to find out who to make the deposit checks out to and where to send them, then called my mom. She wrote down the information, then told me that I may not be able to go, because the money just isn't there. Even with me paying almost 8,000(depending on which building i get pt in, and what meal plan I choose. It's between 6 and 8) they just can't afford it. The school, for now, is only offering me 4500. They are waiting to hear back from my admissions counselor though, so prayers there would be appreciated. However, she said that even if they're able to get a loan to cover everything, they'd be paying it off for the next 30 years. My job? find as many scholarships as I can. Unfortunately, everything that makes me unique, or that I was involved in(i.e. AWANA) is not available as a scholarship. Now what, pray tell, did I spend the last 13 years of my life doing? Getting my Citation Award. And how is it helping me? It's not. Awana is the only organization NOT listed in those Scholarship matching websites, and sadly, Biola is not one of the Christian Universities who offer a scholarship for it. Dad said he would check with IBC to see if they could give me a scholarship, but he's pretty doubtful(by check, I mean he would find out, but I'd do all the talking). Add to that the rejection by Torrey today, and I'm left sobbing, wondering how it's all gonna work out. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.