Reflections

It has been almost a year since I posted last. That kind of blows my mind. I can't believe that time has gone by so fast. I'm not even sure where to begin.

I got married. That statement alone sums up what life has been like the last 8 1/2 months. It is wonderful, and scary, and beautiful. Sometimes I wonder just what exactly I got myself in to, and at others times I can't believe my good fortune, to have married a man such as Marc. My life is so different with him, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I started a new job. This, probably more than anything else, has caused more anxiety and stress than I can imagine. Most of the time I'm not allowed to do what I was hired to do (long story), but when my kid and I are able to work together, and it's obvious that she finally understands what we've been working on, it's the most rewarding feeling in the world.

Together, Marc and I have paid off nearly $30,000 in debt. This, more than anything else, blows my mind. I could not have even dreamed of paying off so much in one year before now. I'm happy that he and I are on the same page, and that we are both determined to make the rest of it go away before long. 

I'm learning, every day, I'm learning that I prefer to have experiences, rather than things. I'm learning that clutter drives me nuts. I'm learning to live with less so that I can experience more. I'm learning that it's not always about me, and what I want. I'm learning to let go, and to be satisfied with what I have, and where I am. I'm learning to be creative. But most of all, I'm learning what it means to be happy in spite of undesirable circumstances. I'm learning to be content, instead of always wishing for what I don't have.

In realizing that I desire less clutter, more simplicity, and better experiences, I have started reading a blog called Becoming minimalist. In a guest post of theirs, the author states "When you focus on what’s lacking in your life, you’ll do or buy anything to fill that void."


I think this, more than anything else, has made me realize that it's time to examine my motives, and practice contentment. It's has also helped me to focus on the difference between contentment, and complacency. Contentment is being satisfied with what you have and being where you are, while continually working to do your best. Complacency is apathy. It is knowing that you could do better, and be better, but refusing to do so. It is giving up. I don't want to give up, but I do want to be satisfied.