New Year, new beginnings

New Year's resolutions. So many people make them. So few actually keep them. What's the point anyway? We decide that since it's a new year, we want to get a fresh start on all of those things we dislike about ourselves; strengthening weaknesses, getting rid of bad habits, or maybe just trying something you've never tried before. Whatever the reason, by the time February rolls around, almost everyone has fallen off the wagon. I wonder why that is?

I think this happens for a variety of reasons. We make resolutions to try something we don't really want to try, or to fix something about ourselves that we don't really care to fix. We make resolutions so that we can feel better better about ourselves, so that we can feel like we are continuing to move forward with our lives. And they are usually made with good intentions. For example, I was putting some thought into mine, and since I know that I don't walk the dog as much as I should, or go to church every week, or even do my devotions very often, that maybe those three things should be my resolutions. Walk the dog every day. (And be more consistent with his training too, because Lord knows he needs that) Go to church every week. Read my Bible every day. None of these are bad things. In fact, I would venture a guess that the reason I want them to be resolutions is because I do not do them,but (for obvious reasons) feel that as a responsible adult, I should do them.

But then I stopped to think about it. Why don't I do them? Is it because I don't want to? No. I enjoy all three of those things when I actually do them. Taking Loki to the dog park to watch him run is often the highlight of my week, and I enjoy church and reading my Bible as well. The problem is not that I hate them and just need to practice doing them so I enjoy it more and therefore do them more often. And I don't think turning them into my list of "resolutions" is going to change the fact that they don't happen as often as I feel they should. Were I to do that, come February, I'd be back where I started just like everyone else.

I think the problem comes from a lack of priorities. I work full time, and have papers to grade and lessons to plan. I'm tired when I get home from work, so it's easy to feed the dog, let him go to the bathroom, and veg out for the rest of the night. I get up early for work as it is, so it's easy to let myself sleep until the last possible minute. My weekends are my only times off, so it's easy to sleep that extra hour instead of going to church. Essentially, I have taken my job, and placed it as the highest priority in my life currently. After all, my bank account doesn't suffer if I sleep through church. The dog doesn't fire me for only letting him run once a week.

I think the problem is that I don't feel it to be 100% necessary to do these other things because work has to come first, and then my sanity. And if I feel like the best way to keep my sanity is to not do these other things that I should be doing, I won't do them. That's why turning them into New's Year's Resolutions won't do any good. That's why so many people drop their resolutions a month after starting them. They aren't a high enough priority. And they won't be until I and everyone else changes the way we look at things.

So this year, instead of listing the little things I don't do and wish I did, I'm going to try something different, I'm going to look at the big picture. This year, I resolve to make myself into the best person I feel I can be, and feel God wants me to be. This year, I'm focusing on the inside, instead of the outside, and let the results be what they may. Here's to 2014.