Love Story

Everyone has a story. It tells of how their life happened, the major events that occurred in order to bring them to the place they are now. Sadly, most of the time, the story that one tells is of how they fought so hard to overcome all of the negative experiences in their life. It is a story that excuses the way they act. "You don't know what I went through, and if you did, you wouldn't think of me in that way." It is a story of anger and pain. But what if we focused our stories on the good, rather than the bad? What if, instead of saying "I'm a bitter and angry person because of xyz" we said "When xyz happened, good came about. I learned something, people I didn't know existed came along side me and encouraged me." What if our stories were based on love? This is just such a story.

I am 9 years old. The last two years my family has spent a lot of time and energy helping my aunt fight cancer. She has just gone to be with Jesus. I don't understand. I prayed. Why didn't God heal her? Wasn't he listening? Doesn't he love me? The answer, yes, comes in a surprising way. It comes in the form of four legs and a happy tail.

Just a few short months after her death, my parents finally give in and get me the dog I so desperately want. He is adorable. He is full of energy. He is really high maintenance. He is mine. He knows it too. From the first day we spent together, there was an inseparable bond. I couldn't leave the room without him following me. In the wake of my aunt's death, Patches was an angel in disguise.

I am 10. I go to a small church, and there aren't many people here. My last friend has moved away. I tag along in my brother's shadow, hoping that I won't be told to leave, hoping that maybe his friends will become my friends too. I am shy and quiet. I try to stay out of everyone's way. Maybe if I don't annoy them, they'll like me. Then one day I make a new friend. She doesn't go to my church, but that doesn't matter. She lives right up the street from me. We have the same adventurous spirit. We like doing the same things. We're both homeschooled. God has once again answered my unspoken request for a relationship that demonstrates His love for me, in ways I can't even imagine. He has given me someone I can relate to.

My first day of school. I'm excited. I'm a little bit nervous, but I had a chance to meet some of the kids before hand and they really seemed to like me. I should be okay. My mom is worried. She knows I have a hard time connecting with kids my age, and is afraid I won't make friends. I tell her not to worry. Everything will be fine. And I was right. For about a week. But this time, I'm not lonely for a few hours on a Sunday morning. I have to deal with it for six hours a day, five days a week. I learn really quickly to bring my book and read whenever there is downtime. If I don't try to connect with them, then it doesn't hurt so much when they reject me. They've made it pretty clear. I'm not welcome. And yet. And yet, once again, God provides me with a way to relate. Early on, I chose not to play any sports. I wasn't any good, and I wasn't interested. My parents paid for me to go on a retreat with church, so it wasn't supposed to happen. But it did. During the spring, I got to play softball. It was the first time I had played competitively, but I had played for years on a non competitive team, so I mostly knew what I was doing. And they put me in the infield. Me? In  the infield? Only the really good players get to watch the bases. I got to play third. It was the same position my sister had played when she was in high school. They gave me an award at the end of the year. God allowed me to find a place that I fit, even when I didn't think it was possible.

19 years old. I have chosen Deaf Studies as my major in college. I have been accepted to the only school in the state that offers that degree. I have made friends. God, why are you telling me I need to go somewhere else? Haven't I had a hard enough time fitting in in the past? I fit. This is what I want to study. The school you want me to go to doesn't even have my major. It's REALLY expensive. How are you going to make this work? I don't want to do it. I may not like the school here very much, but I love the people. I've never felt so connected before. Why can't I stay? Because you have other plans. If you could let me in on those plans, that would be great. Thanks. He never does, but I go anyway. I've been trying to listen better to Him lately, so I take a step in faith. I never really understand why.

2010. I have been dating this boy for 4 months now. It's been a bit of a roller coaster, but he's exciting, and I really like him a lot. He just doesn't talk to me much. It's a lot of work, but they do say that love and commitment isn't easy right? Right. 3 months later and I'm ready to throw in the towel. Remember Patches? The dog I got right after my aunt died? Well, he just passed away. While I was in England. I didn't get to say good-bye. I knew it was probably going to happen, but I was hoping he'd be there when I got home. Didn't happen that way, and right now I'm feeling pretty lonely. I miss my boyfriend, I miss my dog, and I'm wondering what in the world I'm supposed to do with my life. It's really hard to see what good could possibly come from this situation. But God does have a plan. That fall, I finally find a church that I like. It has been two years since I switched schools, but I finally have a church that I can call home. And I love the atmosphere. I make new friends, and life seems a little less bleak. Not only that, but I finally get to interpret for someone. She is an adorable 3rd grader. She makes me laugh, and smile. For the first time in a while, I have a place that I feel wanted and needed. God brought it all together. Not only that, but amidst all of the confusion and heartbreak, God shows me what I am supposed to do with my life. It makes so much sense, once all of the pieces fall into place. For  the first time I take the advice that was given to me and I take a linguistics class. I have never enjoyed another class so much. In addition to that, I learn that there is a place for Sign Language within Bible translation. Another piece falls into place. I don't have to stop working with the Deaf in order to do this. I needed to stop feeling like I had it all together, because otherwise I would not have been willing to listen when He told me what to do. Funny how our plans often get in the way of God's better ones. I am glad He took away the plans I had, because what He has in store is even more glorious than I can imagine.

You know how they say "the grass is always greener on the other side?" Well, sometimes that's true. Especially when we have gotten ourselves into a place where we are stuck. When you can't move forward where you're at, sometimes you have to take the long way around. Sometimes that involves little changes, and sometimes it involves very big ones. In this case, it involved a big one. I have now been in Texas, the Fort Worth area to be exact, for 3 1/2 months. I was extremely surprised when it actually became possible, but for once, I feel like my desires and God's desires lined up. He made it possible, I just did my part. I can't believe how much it's changed me. When life forces you to get up and go from 7:30 am-9:30 pm, you know you're not able to stop and rest. You know it's time for a change. So that's what I did. And here I am. God has provided for me in more ways than I can describe right now, and all I can say is, his love is everlasting. Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! (2 Corinthians 9:15)