hyper

Ahhhhh! I'm so hyper right now, I can hardly sit still. :) I thought today was going to be hard because I had to wake up at 6 (and lying in bed awake till 12:30 doesn't help when you need lots of slepp to function well) However, I managed to pull myself out of bed and get to Mt. SAC by 7:30 (which was my goal) I was a little bit worried about getting the classes I wanted because they were both supposedly full and both had some students on the wait list(I didn't know how to get on it, so I wasn't) I figured I would just show up and hope that I could add them, AND IT WORKED!!! I got both classes! I'm soooo super excited right now!!! After all the stress over break about them being closed, I got them anyway! And apparently saving those energy pills for today was good idea, because at this moment I am FULL OF IT!!! Session will definitely be interesting today :)

New and different

A couple of weeks ago I went to a Bible study I was invited to by the girl who does the massages at the chiropractor I was trying out. It was nice, the people were really friendly and from what I could tell, there wasn't anything wrong with the doctrine. I did notice however, that the way they prayed was exactly the way my friend Lauren's church prays(she's pentecostal). I thought that that was kind of interesting, since they classify themselves as non-denominational. I figured I would try their church tonight, and it was certainly a new experience. They are a spanish speaking church(so they have those hearing devices which enabled me to hear it translated into english), and I'm pretty sure that although they are "non-denominational" the pastor or those in charge must have come from a pentecostal church. They talked about speaking in tongues, and again prayed the way Lauren's church does(I really don't know how to describe it very well, they got up and walked around, and prayed out loud with a sort of chanting rhythm). Again, what I understood of the message(the girl translating was just bi-lingual, not an interpreter, so I had a hard time following most of what was going on) didn't seem off, but I don't really know. It was really nice though, it was like being back at COC again. They were happy to see me, and made me feel welcomed. It's the kind of church you can get involved in, instead of just showing up and being another number. I don't think I'll go back, mostly because of what I've already mentioned, and it's kinda far to be driving to every week(10 miles, 20 min. drive) but it does seem that if it weren't for the discrepancies and the distance it's really a church I could have become very happy with.

whew!

Today was a very long day. I went from chapel, to the Chiropractor, to home, back to school, to a meeting with Dr. Vincent, to hanging out with Amberly. I got up at 9:10(I NEVER get up that early, but apparently that will soon become my "sleeping in" time) and am still awake, because I have (thankfully)no definite plans for tomorrow, and it doesn't seen to matter when I go to bed, I'm awake till about now anyway. Hanging out was fun, I got to have a picnic at La Mirada Park, and worked on some hw(until it got too dark) watched half of the Lacross game, then just waited till 9:45 when we started x-3. :) Fun day, but long and tiring, I think it might be bedtime.

Kate

I think I finally realized WHY everything was so different in my relationship with Kate than it is with everyone else I am friends with, and also probably why I never really feel like myself except around her and Johnny. I think it's because they're older. I don't have to sort of take care of them, and I'm not the most mature person in the group when I'm with them. Growing up, my role in my group of friends was essentially the caretaker. I was, although not the oldest(Jenny is 15 days older), certainly the most mature. I was also the most emotionally stable. Therefore, I guess I was sort of the leader(when Noelle wasn't around). Knowing my personality, I HATE leading. I can do it if I have to, but I am not a leader. Being put into the situation where that's what I did all the time I think is part of why I never felt, even around my friends, like I could be myself, or even really knew what that looked like. When I started spending time with Kate and Johnny, I was the youngest. There was no need for me to be the "leader" because they weren't going to look at it that way. In fact, the few times I tried to do that they told me, for all intents and purposes, no. I found out that I can be sarcastic. I guess I am sort of with my friends from home, but not really. I think its because of the role that I play. Sarcasm can hurt, so I generally stay away from it. I didn't have to with Kate and Johnny because they weren't going to be hurt by it. The problem here at Biola, then, is that most of the kids in my Torrey group are younger than I am. I have a hard time not forcing myself back into that role of leadership, or whatever you want to call it, because I am one of the few kids that are older(there are a few that are older than I am). Of those that are older, I know their personality types are not like Kate and Johnny's. They are like Phillip, and any number of his friends that you can think of that either went to Grace, or AKX. I don't know how to explain it other than that. I had fun with Amberly yesterday, but it is really hard for me to be myself around those who are younger than I am. I guess I've just been trained into it. And that's not to say that I can't get close to those who are younger than I(all of my friends besides Kate and Johnny are younger) just that I don't think I can reach the same level of comfort and truly feeling like I can be myself with them. After having experienced it once, I think I'll always look for it, which means I may never be quite satisfied.

Valentines Day

I actually had a good Valentines Day this year. I think this was the first year where I actually went out and DID something. :) I got a hold of Amberly(one of the girls in my group) and we went down to Huntington beach for the day. We walked in the water(no we were not actually stupid enough to go swimming in it!) and read a chapter of Ovid together. Then we perused the shops across the street and went to Ruby's for dinner. It was really relaxing and a lot of fun, although in the evening it was EXTREMELY cold. :P We got back around nine, so that was my day. The best I've had in a while :)

RIP Poco

Poco died tonight of unknown causes, although Parvo is suspected. He was a happy little dog and although he was a handful sometimes he was always happy to see you when you walked through the door. He was only with us for six months, but he became a part of our family and will be missed. I really did like him better than I said :)RIP little one.

two things...

First of all, apparently, I'm sick. I woke up with a tickle in my throat, and not only has it not gone away, i now have a headache as well, and generally feel pretty bad right now. The other thing is this, I've realized that Biola(or at least my Torrey group) is exactly, EXACTLY, like Grace...not quite as bad as Calvary, but still. Trying not to be cynical, but come on. Every single time? Seems to be a pattern with me. Actually, I take that back, COC is the one exception.

On a Happier Note

I got to visit the ASL one class tonight, taught by the same Lady that taught my ASL three class last semester. I love her. She's so funny and personable, it just made my night, even after the stress with the Chiropractor. It was really her that got me interested in ASL again after the disaster that was CSUN. I was pretty much doing it here, with the thought that if it worked out for me to keep going somewhere else, then I would but it wasn't very high on my priority list. She really has such a love for the language and the deaf community, it's hard to not fall in love with it yourself. So after Dinner I went to say hi, and just hang out. It really brightened my mood to be able to sit there and see the other students and laugh at the jokes, because she has so much energy, she makes class a lot of fun. :) The nice thing too is that I might, quite possibly, be able to be the ASL TA this semester. So while that means mountains of grading, it will help me with my skills and I get paid to do it. :) I'm very excited and I hope it works out.

i guess i should've asked BEFORE I made the appointment...

so, update on the Chiropractic issue, for those of you who don't know,m i was going to one in Orange, but had to switch when I got a super big bill over winter break, and found out that she is out of network so insurance won't cover it. I figured it was worth trying this other guy the insurance company recommended because he's in network so they're supposed to pay for it(or so I though) I have now found out that there is still a huge deductible, that needs to be paid before they will pay anything, although it is half of the other deductible for going out of network. They are nice people and are trying to work it out, and haven't charged me yet, because they're trying to get things worked out with the insurance company first. However, I found out tonight that if for whatever reason they can't get it worked out and I have to pay the whole cost of everything, I will owe them $150 for this week. He wants me to come in three times this week, $50 an appointment. I freaked out a little bit when the office lady told me that, so she did say if I need to I can do a payment plan, but there is no way, even if I get a job, that I can afford $150 a week in chiropractic, it just isn't going to happen. *sigh* Unfortunately, I didn't ask how expensive each visit was going to be until after I made the appointment for Friday. And today's appointment, well, it wasn't completely clear that I was going to adjusted again, all he said was that he wanted to go over the x-rays with me, which he did, but I also got adjusted again. Apparently I needed it, because there was some major popcorn in my lower back, but still. They also have me getting massages each time, so that's why it's $50, other wise it would be $35. Oh yes, they're charging me for something that seems to be a regular part of treatment from them. If they can;'t get it worked out, I'll either go back to the other place I was going to($40 a visit, and I feel more comfortable there anyway) or drive in to see Cheeley. Either way it would be much cheaper. The thing about this place too is that is connected with PIH, so it's more like a Dr.'s office. Stiff and formal, wearing one of those gown thingys, anyway, it doesn't feel like a place where I can say, I'm only coming in once a week, like I can with either Cheeley or Dr. Anne. Cheeley would be the least expensive, till gas goes up, but Dr. Anne is closer, so I guess it just depends on which I find more valuable, time or money. Grrr...it's all very frustrating.