Abiding in Him

I was at After Dark(Biola's Wednesday night chapel)with my friend Seth. During the first part, the people in charge read John 15:1-11 to us(you know, the passage about He is the vine we are the branches, if we abide in Him, He'll abide in us, we need to bear fruit, and those who don't will be cut off...very rough paraphrase) then put a few questions on the screen. The first one was "What does it mean to abide in Him?" after showing us a couple more questions, they told us to get into small groups and discuss our answers to the questions. Seth asked me what my answer was, and I told him that my dad had told me a few years ago, as part of a Bible study, about being filled with the Spirit, and that that's what I thought to abide in Him meant. That we were essentially drunk with Him, that He would effect all the decisions we made. Seth said then that he thought that my definition of it wasn't quite right, that if you were a Christian you would be filled with the spirit. According to the part where it says that you will be cut off you don't exhibit fruit, you probably aren't saved if you're not exhibiting fruit. I mentioned what Phil told me about this passage, that God will allow you to die if you're a christian, but hurting your witness, and the witness of others by your actions, like someone who drinks, does drugs, etc, and God knows they won't turn back to Him. That lead into a definition of what was meant by "fruit" if it were both the outward, and the inward, or if just having inward fruit would count as showing fruit. I said that having just inward fruit was enough, basically, personality fruit, like kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, etc., the fruits of the spirit. He was saying that if you have the inward fruit, you should be showing outward fruit, like not using bad language, dressing modestly, going to church etc. That where Paul says that you know a christian by his fruits is not just referring to others knowing you are a christian, but you yourself knowing you are a christian. That if you don't have the outward fruits, you probably don't have the inward fruits, and therefore probably aren't saved. We didn't come a conclusion. Any ideas on what we talked about?