ahhhhh!!!!

I really don't know what to do. People keep asking me if I've made a decision, and when I tell them no, they do their best to convince me to stay. Last night a couple of my friends came over for dinner(the pie turned out GREAT by the Emily. :) ) and as we were eating they asked me what they could do to convince me to stay. I told them that I didn't really know, so they started throwing out ideas for fun, like Johnny giving me rides on his motorcycle every night. Then we really started talking about it seriously. Kate told me she thinks that I'm running. That was a question I asked myself, and didn't really know the answer to. She also pointed out the fact that I'm patient about staying in situations. Like with school. I'm unhappy, so I'm doing my best to get out of here as quickly as possible. I don't like working at Panda Express, so I applied for a job at the YMCA. I'm not really content to live for the present, I really spend a lot of my time looking to the future, planning ahead. That's not always a bad thing, cuz plans are good, but I think she's right in that I DO need to spend some time in the here and now. But also, I told them that I was thinking that since I've only really started trying to listen to God again, that maybe I'm not supposed to be here. That if I had listened to His guidance in the first place I would be at a Christian school, like Biola or Masters. She then pointed out that I'm not a very open person. I sorta pull into myself. Like how people offer to spend time with me, but I'm doin other things, or just don't call them to begin with. I think some of that is still just a reflex, but also she does have a point. How can I say I'm unhappy here if I don't reach out to the people around me? I'm honestly trying to not worry about making a decision right now, but to just wait it out, pray about it, and see what God says, instead of spending all my time thinking about it. But I feel like people are pushing me to make a decision RIGHT NOW! that I have to know soon, like we don' have another two full months of school for me to figure this out. It's so upsetting, because everyone here wants me to stay, but I feel a pull towards Biola, but I'm also wondering if that's just my emotions, because I have sort of a connection there, and I'd be near family. I would be starting all over again I know, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. I just really don't know, and I want to be at peace about this, but I'm just not. :(