Trying to trust

As humans, we often dig ourselves into holes. Sometimes these holes are dug with the best intentions, and some times, they simply dug out of our inability to trust in the first place. Trust who? Trust God. In my case, I have dug myself a very deep hole of debt. It was done with the best of intentions, and even because I believed I was doing what God wanted of me. But now, I'm having a hard time seeing my way out of it. I was doing well for a while, and am still not doing badly, but that is given my current circumstances. Currently, I am living quite cheaply.

But this job ceases to be providential come the middle of August. In the middle of August, I will have to find something to supplement it, because it will go from offering me 40 hours/week, to offering me 24, at the most. So my job hunt begins again. And as I hit wall after wall (thousands of job postings, very of which I actually qualify for) I become more and more frustrated. They want experience, they want a higher degree, or a different degree. Whatever the reason, I don't have the means to make myself marketable to them. The few jobs that I do qualify for don't pay enough.

I know that God has a plan in all of this. I know that I will learn from it, that it will cause me to grow. I know this in my head, but getting myself to believe it is not the easiest of tasks. God, thankfully gently instead of using the 2x4 he has been lately, reminded me today to pray about it. So I have been. But it's so easy to worry about how it will all get paid for. Lord help me to trust that you will provide for me.